Accepting that we need help is the first critical step we take toward recovery. The thought of going into a treatment facility can be downright scary, even more so if it is far away from home. Reading the experiences of others who have been in our situation can be very helpful.
Below are just some of the emails we receive daily from the people we have helped.
"To Judy, Peter, Carry and all the counsellors: thank you, thank you so much!!
You saved a life, a mother, a child!
I'm proud to be 2 years clean and sober and I have enjoyed those 2 years!"
"To Judy, Peter, Carry and all the counsellors: thank you, thank you so much!!
You saved a life, a mother, a child!
I'm proud to be 2 years clean and sober and I have enjoyed those 2 years!
When I came back in Belgium, I changed my life. I moved into another house. I looked for healthy hobbies. I enjoy being mother and my sons are doing great! The connection with my family is so warm and loving.
My AA home group is full with friends who are also making something nice off their lives.
I ask for help when I have an off day. I found my Higher Power and I'm so grateful for all the little miracles, and the biggest miracle is that I never had one day a craving and that my life is so intensely beautiful.
Off course, I had to work! The first 6 months I had a bit of panic feeling in the morning. Feeling unsure. Then I have to make myself beautiful quickly and go out the house, be in action!
There are difficulties on my pad but I learned to handle them , one by one and on the end off the day I'm mostly happy how I handled it and when I'm, not I try to do it better the next day!
I do my meetings with pleasure and I call my peers when I feel emotions that could lead to cravings.
I live following the 12steps and it's a nice way of living.
So, I go to school - study addiction treatment on a nice level and I do volunteers work in the same sector, and I hope to become a counsellor and to help or save others as you do!
Lots off love, you're all in my heart and thank you, thank you!!"
I would like to thank each and every single one of you for showing me a new way of life, a life free from active addiction. I will be clean (and somewhat serene) for 2 years this Sunday."
I would like to thank each and every single one of you for showing me a new way of life, a life free from active addiction. I will be clean (and somewhat serene) for 2 years this Sunday.
I had no idea how much fun life could actually be. I have now found a fantastic career; I have a beautiful fiancé and a house that is all my own, thanks to the gifts of recovery. I feel I have grown so much over the last 2 years and I am living I life I could not have even dreamed of, all thanks to everyone at Stepping Stones and the programme. I will never forget the unconditional love and support I received from the second I walked through those doors in Kommetjie on the 7th of February 2007.
Next time I am in Cape Town, I will be sure to pop in and say hi. I am eternally grateful for everyone and everything at Stepping Stones.
God bless each and every one of you, you beautiful and worthwhile people."
"Every single day, I give thanks to the God of my understanding, for these special people having been granted to me as human gifts. People, who simply breathed humanity back into me, gave me belief and dignity and demonstrated in their actions and words, what human respect for others and ourselves is about."
"Dear John, I appreciate you are in the midst of one of your busiest days of the year – your Open Day, but I feel driven to write to you for that very reason.
I sloped through the doors of Stepping Stones, a beaten up - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually - alcoholic. As I arrived, happenstance was that you were leaving the building, but you held out your hand, greeted warmly and assured me all would be good for me.
I left Kommetjie, after completing the miracle transition from an enervated, fear-ridden, corpse of a man, to a bewildered recoverer, on a second chance of the path of life.
My previous testimonial to you, details all the amazing, intimate gratitude I have for both Stepping Stones and the Beach House and the rehabilitation treatment I received at both establishments.
The simple truth is that the whole of the Staff Groups - each and every member - including the Counselling/Administrative/Catering/Housekeeping/Medical/ Security and Escorting, teams-contributed to assisting me on my-occasionally (!!!!) difficult, recovery journey.
Every single day, I give thanks to the God of my understanding, for these special people having been granted to me as human gifts. People, who simply breathed humanity back into me, gave me belief and dignity and demonstrated in their actions and words, what human respect for others and ourselves is about.
Friday's are my days to act in my role as Secretary to one of the three, weekly AA home groups I give service in, and each week, the patient fellowship members have to listen as I share one example, after another, of what occurred during the time I spent with my Kommetjie families, at the 'Stones' and the Beach House.
John, I know what personal efforts you made on my behalf, before/during/after my residing in your establishments, I never will forget. I ask another favour of you, please, please, convey my heart-felt admiration, gratitude, thanks and love to all who know me, particularly to 'My two J's', Jillian and Judy.
My letter is an open text of true appreciation, to be shared with whomsoever, you feel may benefit from hearing any, or all, of it.
Always in my thoughts and prayers, have a wonderful 'open day'
Go well, my friend"
My Name is Martin; I am a truly grateful alcoholic. (UK)
"Treatment at Stepping Stones has been an amazing experience for me. I knew I lost a lot. I lost myself, my family, my work and was isolated in my addiction without anywhere to go. I was committed to give myself a chance to a better life. I knew it would be hard and it was. But never did I stand alone. In the groups I heard others sharing there experiences and found out that I was not alone."
"The 18th of July I arrived in the middle of the night at Cape Town Airport. The flight from The Netherlands had been about 11 long hours been long, and I thought about why my decision to go into treatment had become inevitable. I was totally disorientated about myself, where I was and where I was going to. A big guy waited for me at the gate to bring me to Stepping Stones. He was very gentle and said he would take care of me and I should just stay close to him. I felt relieved and sensed I could trust this man. Arriving at Stepping Stones I felt frightened, lonely and exhausted. The nurse doing the intake made me feel relaxed telling me that I've come to a good place. They brought me to my room and with a feeling of trust and a sense of hope I fell asleep.
Treatment at Stepping Stones has been an amazing experience for me. I knew I lost a lot. I lost myself, my family, my work and was isolated in my addiction without anywhere to go. I was committed to give myself a chance to a better life. I knew it would be hard and it was. But never did I stand alone. In the groups I heard others sharing there experiences and found out that I was not alone. The groups are led by the counselors and they make sure that everybody participates. Next to that my personal counselor set up a personal treatment plan for me and put me to work my recovery. The counselors work like a holographic team together. They all seemed to know exactly where I was at, all though I did not even speak to some of them. Next to that they all had there specific knowledge that they brought in. In this way my addiction was explained to me from either a psychological, spiritual, scientific or medical point of view. Intensive classes about various addiction topics made it clear to me what I was dealing with and my counselor guided me how to work my recovery. After 4 weeks I was able to admit to myself I was an addict and obtained the basic tools to deal with my decease in real life. But since I also discovered that my using came from deep enrooted feelings like fear, insecurity, ejection, anger and loneliness from my past which formed my current coping behavior, I took the advice to go into the secondary of Stepping Stones named The Beach House.
In The Beach House my counselor and me set the goals of my Personal Recovery Plan. Here everything is focused on behavior, both one on one with my counselor and in the daily groups. Here I was confronted with myself and got the chance to experience how I react on others and how they react on me. This is something I never could get out of real life experience. Living together in a controlled environment makes it a safe place for everyone to learn from each other and be able to change. In the groups the counselors lead and guide the process. Afterwards they exchange their perceptions and determine per patient how to proceed. Everything is situated around real life situations. Tools are put into place and helped me to change myself from the inside. My counselor coached me through my workload, answered my questions and helped me how to develop and use my new life tools. My struggle was hard. A lot of my behavior was based on years of immediate reactions on feelings without thinking. Now I needed to think before to act. And doing things totally different then I did before. But after a while a grasped the first benefits of my change. Instead of being angry or isolating myself I became able to express myself in an open and honest way. Instead of dwelling in self-pity I could express my feelings without being insecure or afraid what others might think. And so I became able to grow again."
"I was angry at myself and the world, had no self esteem or the will to live anymore, everything known to me had crashed and there was no way that I was going to stay alive for even a day longer on my own. It would be a lie to say that I went out of my own will power to receive help at Stepping Stones….I simply had no power over anything at all but knew I needed help, and can only be grateful that my Mom put me on the plane…simple as that."
"Today I reflect back over the happenings of the last 9 months. I remember arriving at Stepping Stones with a broken heel and crutches..still smelling of a drink I had at the airport. That was the least of my problems . I was angry at myself and the world, had no self esteem or the will to live anymore, everything known to me had crashed and there was no way that I was going to stay alive for even a day longer on my own. It would be a lie to say that I went out of my own will power to receive help at Stepping Stones….I simply had no power over anything at all but knew I needed help, and can only be grateful that my Mom put me on the plane…simple as that.
The month that followed was for obvious reasons a life changing experience - finding out that I was not alone in all of this, sharing my feelings with others and finding trust and love in people I had never met before was amazing…I cried , I laughed, I learned who I was and I was given tools to cope with my addiction and life in general. I stayed 30 days and thought I had it all figured out and was ready to show the world the great new me. I had conquered and I could not be beaten with anything this life has to offer…………I relapsed 2 hours after I left Stepping Stones.
I was in a stupor for 6 days ,drunk ,isolated, full of self pity and lonely. I had nowhere to go and show the brand new me…. But something stuck in what I had learned the month before and I somehow managed to get back in one piece to Stepping Stones where I was hugged and accepted back.
I was so ashamed of what people might think….not one person pointed a finger at me or judged me …I am forever grateful for that.
I got cleaned up, and then decided to stay another 2 months for secondary care at The Beach House on advice from the counsellors ….I knew that I missed something the 1st 30 days but couldn't put my finger on it...after all, I did everything that was required of a model rehab patient…what did I miss?
In secondary I got stuck into the programme. I started working the steps, and the mental and emotional challenges were larger than I ever thought. I went to meetings almost every 2nd night and I saw people at these meetings…they were glowing with happiness. I then knew that I wanted to be like them and I wanted to be like them more than anything I ever wanted in my whole life…but they somehow had something that for me was out of my reach. I didn't understand what they had that I could not seem to get…and after all …the AA was supposedly easy and simple …everyone should get it.
After about a week in secondary care I was busy working STEP 3 late one night… I got blown away. I finally understood . …I have never looked back!!!!!
From that moment life as I knew it disappeared and this new freedom everyone was talking about became me…I glowed. AMAZING STUFF!!!
I felt like a kid again, everything around me was fresh and new. I started laughing again…life is beautiful.
Back in home I was accepted back at my work and the only comments I got were `well done`, `glad you are back` type of comments. Everyone around me carried on with their work around me as if nothing major had happened. I realized then that people carry on with their lives..with or without me, and my fear of being rejected by my colleagues was not valid.
Currently I do a full days worth of work everyday and I am proud of my achievements at work..the company is going from strength to strength and I use what I have learned in my day to day business dealings…I think the most important one for me in business is honesty…I DEMAND it from suppliers to customers and staff and it works.
I had huge gaps to fill in my personal life…and accepted it as part of the consequences of my past. In the beginning my evenings were lonely except for the AA meetings…I found people were bit wary of me and I couldn't blame them as I knew they were not sure what to expect.
I kept myself busy with paintings at night and it felt great to be creative. I lost hours in front of canvasses, but I needed to record my feelings, and new fresh outlook of life. …a well known up market gallery sold two of my paintings on Sunday. I was humbled by it because this is something I did for myself as part of recovery…the thought of money never crossed my mind as I have got a job. I never thought there was an artist lurking in me.
I do get my ups and downs and I know everything is not perfect but the alternative of where I am now is death and I know that very well. I keep things simple, one day at a time.
I am J, I am an alcoholic and a worthwhile person"
Best wishes and yours in recovery, J (South Africa)
"My name is S and I'm a Compulsive Gambling addict. In May 2008, I was in a very desperate state. I had been brought to my knees through the consequences of 15 years of destructive addiction to gambling. I was fortunate enough to get referred by a rehab in London to Stepping Stones treatment centre in Cape Town.
So I found myself on a plane to Cape Town and there my journey to a new life began."
"My name is S and I'm a Compulsive Gambling addict. In May 2008, I was in a very desperate state. I had been brought to my knees through the consequences of 15 years of destructive addiction to gambling. I was fortunate enough to get referred by a rehab in London to Stepping Stones treatment centre in Cape Town.
So I found myself on a plane to Cape Town and there my journey to a new life began.
I spent 3 weeks in Stepping Stones being treated for my addiction and then spent 2 months in a Secondary care facility nearby to Stepping Stones called the Beach House.
Immediately when I arrived in Stepping Stones, I felt very safe and welcome, even though I was thousands of miles from home and in a very depressed frame of mind. I had lost contact at that point with all my friends, I was not eating, and I was even described by one counsellor as looking like "the walking dead". From day 1 at Stepping Stones, the Counsellors and fellow patients took me under their wings, and within a few days, I was starting to feel more positive about the future. There is a very strong community spirit in the treatment centre. It is not just the Counsellors that help you get well. There were about 15-20 fellow patients, all fellow addicts - drug, alcohol, gambling and other addictions, and we all had 1 thing in common....a desire to free ourselves from our own chains and misery.
The programme was fantastic - I arrived on a weekend, which is fairly quiet, and a time for the patients to relax and some patients families came to visit on the Sunday afternoon. Monday to Friday, there was a mixture of group therapy, where we talked about our worries and fears and worked through them with the help of the Counselors to make some sense of our unhappy and unmanageable lives. We had individual sessions with our assigned counselor during the week and there were some more holistic activities like walks on the beach, art therapy and guided meditations. The Counseling team is very professional and caring. The Counseling team is headed up by Carrie and Peter, both of whom have a fantastic way of inspiring the patients with confidence and hope that we can recover.
The programme uses the principles of the 12 steps of Recovery, which were the basis of the fellowship, Alcoholics Anonymous. The real breakthrough for me came when I started to gain a faith in a Higher Power, which is something that I draw strength and courage to help me manage my fears and face life without the crutches of alcohol, drugs or gambling.
I forged very strong bonds with the other patients and was sad to leave Stepping Stones after 3 weeks but excited about the next stage of my journey. I moved to The Beach House – Stepping Stone's Secondary Care facility in Kommetjie. I was assigned an individual counselor called Willem who supported me through my time there. The facilities, food, accommodation was fantastic and I felt very safe there.
I was a patient at the Beach House for 2 months. This was a beautiful house where there were roughly 10 patients and we received individual counseling as well as group therapy. The range of treatment included art and music therapy, community work and talks from ex-patients. During the evenings, we were taken by car to various AA, NA or other meetings where we could listen to other addicts and share our stories.
9 months on, I am back in England and my life is great. I have my family back in my life, friends, I am back at work, I go to meetings in evenings and work the 12 steps with a sponsor.
I am forever grateful for the time that I spent in Stepping Stones and Beach House. My life has been turned around from having no hope and desperate to now living free from my addiction one day at a time. A big thank you to all the staff at Stepping Stones and Beach House.
I hope myself to go back to Cape Town one day to say thank you in person."
"Today, I see going into treatment in South Africa one of the best things I ever did. My journey of recovery has been an eventful one, from having previously been in treatment in the UK, already attempting it once before and relapsing was one of the hardest lessons I've ever had to learn."
"Today, I see going into treatment in South Africa one of the best things I ever did. My journey of recovery has been an eventful one, from having previously been in treatment in the UK, already attempting it once before and relapsing was one of the hardest lessons I've ever had to learn.
Once again reaching that point of total desperation and feeling as though I could no longer live, I surrendered to the idea of going to South Africa. I did not want go. I was afraid of what it would be like and being so far away from home.
Some parts of treatment were fascinating, others were tough, but it was in those tough parts that I found growth. I found a solution to something I never had an answer to. Drink and drugs no longer worked and now I have found something in all of this that does.
Not getting it for such a long time, my treatment at the Beach House, I have stated to this day, has been the most beneficial. I was introduced to recovery and handed almost every recovery tool to use although not necessarily understanding the benefit at the time - the meetings, the necessity to find a sponsor, group therapy work, working well with a peer group full of support and care for one another and finding spirituality in a place as beautiful as Kommetjie.
I gained a lot of self-awareness and I faced a lot of fear which I have found makes me so much stronger. All the way throughout my life I have been hopeless. Now I see that I am powerless not hopeless. Although I couldn't see it at the time I can see it now. I feel like I finally grew up at the Beach House and ever since I have left I have started to build up the life that i thought i could never have.
As a 21-year-old young woman, I have a flat, a job and seven months of recovery. I love being involved in recovery, I do service, talk to others, attend meetings and work a programme in my life which has set me free. I feel completely able to keep on making the steps in my life and in my recovery that could make them both great ones.
I gained that enormous head start at The Beach House. For myself, I don't think I would have made it without that, and for that I am eternally grateful."
